Return of the Rat

There is a very disturbing trend sweeping thru the malls of Melbourne. This phenomenon is seen mostly on teenage males and may cause a blinding pain in ones eyeballs. The only cure is a large pair of scissors. With GREAT regret I bring news of the return of the dreaded rat tail. They are everywhere! Even more regretful is the propensity for the darker haired males to bleach the tail blond. This crisis started to arise approximately two years ago and has spread rapidly throughout Melbourne. There has always been the odd 40-50 year old sporting a rat tail that he has refused to cut since 1983 but now it is the children of this fine city who are falling prey to this horrific hair trend. I (sniff, sniff) even found the small beginnings of a tail (sigh) on my very own Matthew(choke back sob). Is this horrid hairstyle even affecting fully grown men!! Matt's travesty has been remedied and there is no trace of a returning tail. This problem must be nipped in the bud before every teenage boy is walking around with scraggly tendrils crawling done his back. Something must be done.

The Rat Tail has been immortalized by German artist Frederik Jurk who claims if in Germany one might be beaten up for wearing his hair in this 80's style. He should take a trip to Melbourne.